Before We Dive In…
Join 2,600+ creatives transforming their brand storytelling, marketing, and content systems.
Enter your email below and I’ll send you a Best Shot List Template to go from chaos to clarity and take back control.
A comedian once said: “You gotta know where you came from to know where you’re going.” And that hit me in the feels.
I started thinking about how far I have come in the last decade. Here are the 30 things I know in my 30’s I wish I knew in my 20’s:
1 – Live in the “Here & Now”
When we were kids my grandpa would always tell my brother and I to “live in the here and now” and to always remind ourselves of that fact. I thought he was talking about simply being present in the current moment so that life doesn’t go by too fast.
“Я здесь и сейчас.”
“I am here and now” in Russian
In my 30’s I now realize that it goes beyond that. Being in the Here & Now is a consistent state of mind that tells a deeper story about three core pillars of life: the power of relationships you cultivate throughout your life; the amount of attention that you pay to the health of your body; and how well you train your mind to achieve greatness.
Just so happens that it’s those relationships, healthy body and mind that will bring you longevity, satisfaction, and fulfillment in your life.
2 – Travel as much as you can
I’ve been thinking a lot about the word “perspective” lately. Perspective is so valuable because it gives you the power to see things from a differing angle, thus training your empathy muscle.
Travel gives you a lot of perspective. You’ll see how different people live and communicate. Even just getting out of your home town will do so much for your mind set.
3 – Nobody is coming to save you
My relationship with money growing up was interesting to say the least. My small family was what would be considered middle-class in Kazakhstan. However, because of the way money was talked about in the house, I believed we were poor. At least, less wealthy than my friends’ families.
I believe that due to this mindset around money — I developed a type of apathy towards my finances. I always felt like money would always be there when I needed it, so I never took too much initiative to start building wealth.
I now understand that nobody is coming to save me. I have to take my finances into my own hands.
4 – The Law of 100
I learned this from @noahkagan.
To create a habit, and before quitting what you started and intended to finish (or keep going indefinitely) do 100 reps. Whatever “repetitions” means for you:
- 100 warm reach outs to people who know you
- 100 short films exploring various filmmaking techniques
- 100 cold emails to potential clients
- 100 drone flights
- 100 hours of being on a film set
5 – Know what you want, even if you don’t
What I mean is that even if you’re not exactly sure what you want to do, or what you want out of life, just make a decision and follow through with it.
The ultimate question in life is “will this decision be the right decision that will lead me to where I want to go?” The funny thing is — there is absolutely NO WAY to know the answer.
That’s also the beautiful thing about it. So you might as well just make a decision, any decision, because it doesn’t really matter. Ultimately, even if you make a mistake, you can learn from the experience and make adjustments to do better next time.
6 – Value Based Pricing
Beginner filmmakers will typically start charging a rate “per project” or calculate their day rate based upon the project needs. And that is a completely fine way to do it when you’re starting out.
However, once you get the hang of things, it’s important to understand that everyone, everywhere is looking for value. How can I get a return on investment from this interaction.
Give immense value to your dream customers by finding the best solution to a real problem. When you can do that, you can charge based on a percentage of the value you brought your client, instead of the hours you spent.
7 – Marriage is more like a subscription than a one-time payment
The life partnership commitment that you make when getting married is not to be underestimated. It’s a serious promise you’re making to another human being. And so treating it like a one-time transaction after the wedding is far from courteous to your other half.
Marriage (or any type of partnership) is an ongoing commitment that you continue to invest time (and money, and effort, and sweat, and tears) into indefinitely.
Sure it’s hard sometimes, sure it’s frustrating sometimes. But everything worth doing in this life is hard.
8 – Don’t sleep on the power of compound interest
Just google it if you’re not familiar with the concept of compound interest. It’s going to change your life forever.
9 – Be kinder to yourself and others than you deem necessary
I borrowed this from Tim Ferriss. It’s a simple concept but deeply profound. As I write this newsletter I’m reminded of all the times in my past that I could’ve been kinder to myself and others.
There’s no reason to dwell on the past, but it’s a good idea to reminisce and then move on.
10 – Spend less than you make
Fairly straightforward. If you are living outside your means, you will always be stuck in the money-chasing loop.
11 – What you have to say matters
I grew up being told that whatever I was saying in a group conversation was dumb. It took a long time to reprogram my brain to be able to contribute to conversations in group social settings. I’m still working on it.
12 – Patience brings clarity
Tony Robbins says: “People overestimate what they can do in a year, but they underestimate what they can do in a decade.”
Thinking in longer time horizons (bigger stretches of time) will bring upon clarity through an understanding of real patience. And it is that clarity that will give you a guided path to your next steps.
13 – Superstition has valid roots
People have told stories (and lies) through the centuries as a form of communication. Some of those stories get skewed and exaggerated to the point of becoming superstitions that spread fear among the people.
However, I believe there are a few exceptions that are rooted in some valid life lessons. For example: there is strictly followed superstition among Russian people (at least in Kazakhstan where I grew up) that when a baby is born you have to wait 40 days before you can share photos or show the face of the baby to anyone other than mom and dad. I believe that’s rooted in the fact that their little bodies are still building up that immunity, so any foreign contact with the outside world could be dangerous.
Take everything with a grain of salt, but pay attention to the folk stories and superstitions of various cultures. What are they really telling you about life?
14 – Time block your most important tasks
If you’re familiar with the Pomodoro method you know that it’s very effective to set a 25 minute timer to do deep work, and then five minutes of an intentional and deliberate break.
Rinse and repeat three or more times to continue the progress. Set goals and break up those goals into mini tasks. Schedule your “pomodor”s on your calendar so that you commit.
15 – Charge what you’re worth
Often times creatives feel bad to take money for their services and products. Do you feel bad paying money to the grocery store when you’re checking out? No! That’s how it works. You’re happy to be getting the value in the form of delicious produce in exchange for your hard-earned cash.
And so when you’re charging for your work, charge what you’re worth. Because you have invested a lot of time and money to get to where you are. To know what you know. To be able to do what you do, and solve the problems that will inevitably come your way. You are worth it.
16 – Early adopters get the opportunities
Whether it’s new technology or a social media platform, I used to wait until enough people try it out before I dive in. Now I’m trying to get accustomed to being the early adopter so I can align myself with the possibilities of opportunities that inevitably come to those that get there first.
17 – People are way too involved with themselves to be looking at you
When you’re young you worry about how you look because you’re concerned with other people looking at you and ultimately judging you. As you get older you realize everyone else is too involved with themselves to be looking at you. They’re all looking at themselves to even notice. That being said, do look presentable because when the time is right, the right people WILL be looking at you.
18 – The 80/20 Rule (Pareto Principle)
The Pareto Principle states that 80% of the output comes from 20% of the input. We can relate the output to results and input to the actions.
We can also relate this principle to virtually any situation: 80% of the profit comes from 20% of your clients; 80% of the sales come from 20% of employees; 80% of the result comes from 20% of your effort. You get the idea.
To use this principle practically, take a look at your own business and task list. How can you start to optimize the results and your actions taken to achieve those results?
19 – Be the ice breaker for others that you wish others would be for you
It’s just the right thing to do. If you see someone that’s struggling to integrate themselves into group conversations, sitting alone — be the person you wish would approach you if you were in their shoes. Show empathy and just ask a question. People love talking about themselves.
20 – Learn how to fail, fast
Yes, failing is a skill. And it’s one that the more reps you do — the better you get at failing fast. The more you fail the better you get. The better you get the faster you’ll start to improve to where you won’t fail anymore. Fail forward, fail fast.
21 – Ask for help, more
As a man I was more or less raised to deal with problems on my own. I rarely reached out for help, just internalize and act strong. That’s not healthy. As I’ve grown to ask for help more I have noticed that people actually want to help. People desperately want to feel needed and like they belong, and offering help to someone is one way to ingrate yourself into a social circle (a tribe).
22 – More money doesn’t bring more happiness
The sooner you truly realize this fact, the better your life will be. You see, there is this concept called the “hedonic treadmill”. This basically states that whenever we reach an arbitrary goal we set for ourselves (for example our salary) as soon as we reach it — we tend to move the goal posts further.
This becomes a consistent pattern that is hard to escape. Always chasing some construct of “happiness” by getting more (more money, more fame, more recognition, more status).
However, if we START with happiness and simply make acquiring money, fame, recognition and status like a game. Make happiness your career, and everything else your hobby. It’ll be much easier to live that way, trust me.
23 – Everyone is seeking status validation
Anything anyone ever does, or buys, or says has a lot to do seeking validation of their perceived status. Whether that’s financial status, social status, physical strength status, or any other type of status — that is for you to decide.
But the important thing here is to realize that everyone you come in contact with is going to be judging your interaction by whether or not what you have for them will help to increase their status.
People tend to gravitate towards things that will increase their perceived status, and avoid/repel things that perceptively decrease their status.
Act accordingly.
24 – Three pillars of success: beliefs, character traits, skills
In order to achieve mastery in anything you need to possess the three pillars of success: beliefs, character traits and skills.
In order to acquire the skills needed to achieve mastery in any one practice, you need to have the character traits that will allow you to do the reps that build the muscles needed for the skills.
In order to get the character traits needed to achieve mastery, you need to first have the belief that you can do it. Belief. Character traits. Skills. In that exact order.
25 – A.C.A. Framework (Acknowledge Compliment Ask)
The A.C.A. Framework is used for sales but you can apply it in your real life relationships and see heaps of benefits come out. This is just a great way to have a conversation.
A is for Acknowledge. Acknowledge what they say, rephrase it back to them to show that you’re listening and actually interested. “Oh, you’re starting a business AND going to school at the same time?”
C is for Compliment. Compliment them on something related to what they just told you. “You go-getter! Way to be.”
A is for Ask. Lead the conversation towards what value you’re there to offer them. “Do you ever get time to create branded video content for your business?”
26 – If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend longer than 5 minutes worrying about it
The amount of negative thoughts that a human can have in a day is overwhelming. It’s quite unbearable to think about actually.
Take into consideration the things that you can actually control. It’s not the past or the future. It’s the present moment and how you respond to a situation that matters. If it won’t matter in five years, don’t spend longer than five minutes worrying about it.
27 – F*ck them
To all the haters, the non-believers, the bullies and the aggressors. Fuck them. Don’t spend another second worrying about what other people will think or say or do. We’re all going to die anyway, why not try your best to make this life a game that’s fun and fulfilling, without letting others dim your flame.
28 – Give pause before making a big purchase
Sometimes a good night’s sleep is all you need to realize that expensive camera won’t make you a better filmmaker. It’s a bitter truth, but one worth mentioning.
29 – S.O.S. Seek Out Serendipity
They say success is made when luck meets opportunity. So then in order to find that luck we need to seek out the serendipity of life by simply experiencing it. Go out into the world and have experiences. The more the better. Bonus points if you get a story from it to write a movie about!
30 – The Power of Your Mind
I saved the best for last. My grandpa’s most important lesson that I only understood later in adulthood. The power of your mind goes way beyond the obvious. The power of thought — underrated.
I would strongly suggest reading Napoleon Hill’s Think And Grow Rich to go deep on this concept. It’s completely changed my life and reinforced a lot of the things my grandpa told us as kids.
That’s it for now. 35 at 35 will be next.
